Moving on from a serious relationship is probably the most hardest thing to do even when its you that got heartbroken.
Last year I dealt with a very hard break up situation. I had never been in a serious relationship before, so I guess that I fell hard when my relationship broke down.
I couldn't believe I could actually trust anyone, especially when it comes to those who comes close. The things that boys come up with, promising they'll be there forever to be by your side & all of that rubbish that you suddenly believe in. Girls, im telling you now that some boys never keep these promises.
Experiencing this, I never met someone who I could actually trust for the first time. I guess I was dumb enough to believe all the things he said. I've never felt this way about anybody. I use to text & call him everyday, he became my obsession. Then I started to see changes, changes that I thought something was really going wrong. So I just left it hoping things will start up again like it used to be.
Then, after a couple of days, I was starting to become a bit confused because I wanted to break up first, the only thing that was stopping me was that he was so sweet. I wanted to see what he would do if I broke up with him. I asked him and his reply was that he would kill himself. I was scared about this, so I just left it for a couple of days.
He then texted me some really long text, lets just say it was so sweet and made me cry. He promised that he was never gonna break up with me and that his previous relationships were not his fault. This was because he has never broken a girls heart before.
Then a few weeks later, I come on to msn. He goes 'Vanessa...'. I knew something was really wrong as normally when I come on he calls me 'baby'. I knew this was it. He told me that his feelings for me weren't there anymore. I cried for the whole night, blaming myself that im the one who pushed him away.
It was a very hard time for me, as I became really sensitive because I kept crying in school, whenever a song came up that would remind me of him. I tried so hard to forget about him. Whenever I came on to MSN, he would ask me how I was, I just simply cried as I couldn't tell him I really felt. I would go through text messages he sent me saying 'I love u bhe' or 'baby IFLYSFM' (for those slow people; I F*cking Love You So F*cking Much) I would wish those were true. I then started focusing on other stuff. I had started to move on, life is a rollercoaster.
I soon found out that he found I new girl. To be honest, I couldn't care less anymore... I deleted him from my MSN, the only way he could ever contact me...
Monday, 11 May 2009
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